God actually LIKES you - and that could save your marriage

Here is one of the most box breaking, religious spirit destroying theologies I’ve ever come across:  God doesn’t just love you - He LIKES you.  I’m saying that when you’ve been ‘too busy’ for Him for months and you finally find the space to say hello, He’s not thinking, “Where have you been?” - He’s thinking, “Yessssss!!!!”

This concept will actually improve your marriage the MOMENT you dive in.  Follow me here for a second

If you want to step into true friendship with God, it starts with realizing He’s already accepted you. Imagine God looking at you with a smile, saying, “I accept you just as you are.” That’s the essence of friendship: acceptance. Friends share, connect, and create space for one another. But if we’re holding onto a backlog of self-blame and judgment, we end up creating a chasm between us and God, a chasm He never placed there. God’s invitation is to recognize that we’re loved, chosen, and forgiven—no earning necessary. And that same invitation holds a key to deeper, richer connection in marriage.

Forgiveness is the bridge. When we apply God’s forgiveness to ourselves, we humanize the person in the mirror and start showing up as a true friend to ourselves. And this act of forgiving ourselves isn’t just for our benefit—it’s a catalyst for genuine connection in our marriages, too. The same way forgiving ourselves draws us closer to God, it also brings us closer to our spouses. We can only truly connect if we’re willing to bring our whole selves to the table, without shame or hesitation. Imagine a marriage where both people have released the baggage of past mistakes and instead, live in the freedom of God’s forgiveness. That’s where connection thrives.

If you feel like you have a hard time hearing from God - like you don't REALLY have a seat at the table where your voice is welcomed in the conversation, it's likely due to the shame that's lingering from a lack of self forgiveness.  And if you're feeling like you've lost yourself in your marriage, like you're simply living in the shadow of your spouse out of obligation to your vows - you will likely find yourself basking in a waterfall of freedom when you truly accept the gift of recklessly unconditional forgiveness that Jesus is offering you.

But let’s be honest—there’s often resistance here. There’s a part of us, a very “religious” part, that craves a formula, a rule to follow, a way to “earn” that forgiveness. We think we have to “qualify” before we can live as forgiven, or that we need to perfect ourselves before connecting freely. That’s what you could call an orphan spirit or a servant mindset. And it’s a mindset that breeds disconnection, which is the ultimate enemy of marriage.

See, the way we think about our relationship with God affects how we approach marriage. If we live as though we need to “earn” our good standing before God, we end up expecting our spouse (and ourselves) to prove worthiness before accepting each other fully. That performance mindset can destroy true intimacy. But if we follow the example God sets, we realize we’re invited into connection not because we’re perfect, but because He already loves us. And when we operate from that place, we start living with a sense of freedom and connection in both our faith and our marriage.

The friendship God offers isn’t based on doing or performing; it’s rooted in being. When we let go of self-judgment and allow ourselves to live forgiven, we move into the “friendship space” with God. This same space, where we feel safe, accepted, and loved, is where our marriages thrive. People who are willing to embrace this don’t come to each other out of duty or fear of punishment; they come to share life together. And that’s the kind of kind of connection we’re called to in marriage.

So let’s shatter the old need for performance and earning. Let’s forgive ourselves boldly, as God forgives us - even though it's scary and watch as connection grows in our marriages and in our friendship with Him. In this partnership—free from the weight of “proving” anything—we begin to experience the abundant life He came to give us.