Catching The Wave: There's Power in the Heartbreak

Whit was leading a team of 11 college age Bethel students on a 4 day mission trip last weekend.  They focused on the primarily hispanic neighborhoods of Sacramento, CA and went out to love and serve the people, then offer invitations to a worship and ministry service led by local pastors each night.

Whit’s nervous system stood at full attention as she passed the multi-family housing project.  There was trash on the ground, multiple broken down cars in the common area, and the fences were chain link, but what had her attention was the screaming.  A man and a woman were going after each other so forcefully inside one of the houses that the team was checking in with each other to determine if calling the cops was appropriate.  That’s when Whit noticed a young boy

Whit: Hi - What’s your name?

Boy: Alec

Whit: Oh Hi Alex

Alec: It’s ALEC

Whit: I bet you like baseball

Alec: Nope

Whit: Well you’re obviously an athlete.  What’s your favorite sport?

Alec: Football

There it was - a faint smile appeared on Alec’s face. 

As they chat a bit, the screaming only intensifies.  The boy glances over at the house from time to time as his eyes fill with tears and fights to make sure no-one notices.

Whit: Is that your house? -  Alec nods - Are you just out here playing?

Alec: NO. I’m trying to stay away from that. As he glances towards the house

Whit: Yeah - That’s tough.

This is way too familiar for Whit - she can feel the anger boiling up inside of her as her heart breaks for the boy.  Memories of helplessness, shame, and fear surge through her body.

One of the team members, Eli, is a 19 year old from Southern California.  He is sold out for Jesus and carries a joy that only comes from that type of living.  He got an inner conviction to give the boy his bible.  As he hands it over, he says, “This brought me a lot of peace in a time like you’re going through now.”

Just then a man walks out of the house and confronts the team.  It is clear that he has been the source of at least half of the sounds of fighting blaring out from the house.  He is visibly angry and everything about him is intimidating.  Alec makes a run for it

Man: Hey!  What are you doing?  Get away from him!!

Whit: Sorry sir - we were just making sure Alec was doing okay.  He’s a really sweet boy. Are you his dad?

Man: Step-Dad

 Eli: We’d like to invite you to a festival tonight

Whit: It’s free

The man snatches the tickets with a huff then turn and walks toward the cars

Whit was overcome with rage - who was going to protect Alec?  Who was even going to SEE Alec?  Whit felt that familiar feeling from believing you don’t matter - you’re suffering, but invisible.  She was getting ready to tell the man off - but there was something else this time - these situations usually brought pure hot anger, but this time there was something else …compassion.  In that compassion, she remembered Chad’s encouragement to “Release the opposite spirit.”

Whit: picking up her pace to close the distance a little shouts: “Sir - what’s your name?”

The man looks bag annoyed: “Douglass”

Whit: “Hey Douglass” as she continues walking toward him - “I hear the Lord saying that you are a really good father.”

Douglass stopped in his tracks and broke down in tears.

Whit: “God sees that you are hard on yourself and you don’t see the goodness in yourself, but God knows that Alec needs a man in his life and He chose you to be that man because of the goodness He sees in you.”

From that point Douglass began to share that he’s been in and out of prison, that he wants to do right, but he continues to fail.  He said that he learned of Jesus in prison and began to build a relationship, but he hadn’t been walking with Him since getting out this time.  He said, “I’m really struggling.  I’m lost and I don't know how to fix it.”

She said, “Well - when we walk away from Jesus, there is ALWAYS an invitation to re-dedicate our life back to Him and HE comes in and does the work for us from the inside out.  Would you like to give your life to Jesus right now?

Through the tears he said, “Yeah - I would”

Whit:  Repeat after me:

“Heavenly Father, thank you for your grace and mercy, thank you for your son Jesus Christ who paid the price for my sins.  I confess that I have sinned and I repent from turning away from you.  I receive the blood of Jesus to forgive me of the sins & I invite the Holy Spirit to come into my life and change me from the inside out.”

Happy Ending right??  

- No question about it, and Whit shared this entire testimony with sort of a heaviness.  I asked her why?

I saw how hopeless the boy was.  I knew how he felt, that he was completely dependent on power that he didn’t have and no one who had the power even saw him.  I saw the anger on Douglass’ face when he confronted us.  I knew that rage.  I know exactly what it feels like to partner with rage because I’m desperate for relief from the hopelessness.  And I knew how close I was to just walking away and justifying my choice because I was ‘just keeping my team safe from harm.’  Instead the Holy Spirit injected me with courage and compassion and had me speak a word that didn’t feel true from what I was seeing, but what HE wanted me to release into the situation.  

I believe that this was a moment that changed the future for that little boy.

I asked if the team was energized by the exchange:

“Yes - as we walked away they were all joyful and celebrating.  They kept saying, ‘That was amazing Whit, you’re so brave.  I can’t believe you went after him.’  - and the experience was good for me too.  In fact it is still incredible, like, it makes me teary to remember it incredible, but the experience on the inside is not what I would have thought it would be - or what my team thought it was - from the outside.  

My prayer for the past 2 months has been, ‘Jesus - let my heart break for what breaks yours.’  It was in that heartbreak that I heard the Holy Spirit.  Without it I would have missed Him.  I almost missed Him.  It wasn’t a ‘victory’ feeling like in sports - it was a deep intimate unity and love.  I am overwhelmed with joy - but it’s not the jumping kind of joy.  It’s got weight - and I’m hungry for more of it”