Training Ugly with Jesus

There’s a saying in sports coaching that I absolutely love. It’s so deep in my spirit that if I were ever coaching anyone, it would be my go-to philosophy. The saying is this: “Drills make you good at drills." The implication is that if you really want to excel in the game, you have to train ugly.

What does that mean? In today’s sports world, parents are dropping thousands—sometimes tens of thousands—of dollars for their kids to master a sport. Coaches are tempted to make the training look pretty, polishing the drills so much that it’s easy to see quick improvement. Everyone’s happy—except maybe the kid, when they actually step into a real game.

Picture this: A golf coach dumps a bucket of balls 10 feet from the hole, gives a quick technique lesson, and lets the kid putt over and over. The parent sitting on the sidelines, phone out, filming every putt, sees a nice improvement. Ball after ball sinks. By putt #390, the kid’s killing it!

 But… are they actually better at golf? Nope. They’re better at putting from that one spot under those conditions. The real test comes when the coach dumps the balls all over the green, hands the kid a putter, and says, “Go for it!” Suddenly, every ball is a new challenge. The kid’s success rate drops—and, let’s be real, it probably looks a little ugly—but they’re learning the real skills that will make them a better golfer.

Now, let’s talk about our relationship with Jesus. It’s pretty similar.

We love structure. Many of us feel comfortable in our denominational bubble, following well-defined rules and polished theological arguments. We learn the drills, we repeat the drills, and—just like that golfer—we get good at drills.

 But guess what? We never really get better at the game.

 Here’s the thing: In John 15:15, Jesus says, “I no longer call you servants; I call you friends.” Friends, not servants. That’s huge. Friendship isn’t about obedience to a master—it’s about relationship. And in a real relationship, both sides have a voice.

 I’ll be honest: it’s way easier to play the servant role. Do the drills. Stick to the script. But friendship with God? That gets messy. It’s not about perfection. It’s about walking together, even when you don’t have it all figured out.

Okay, I’m going to ask for some grace from you as you read on, because I’m about to suggest we let our faith get ugly.

 Yes, hearing God’s voice is awesome. Obedience is great. But guess what? Obedience isn’t the end goal. (Wait, did I just say that? Yup, I did!) Even Jesus said He only did what He saw the Father doing. But that doesn’t mean God just wants a bunch of robots following commands.

 Look at the Bible. The Sabbath? God’s idea. But sometimes, Jesus didn’t stick to it. David broke sacred traditions. Moses even had the guts to challenge God when He was ready to wipe out Israel. These weren’t acts of disobedience—they were acts of relationship. They knew God’s heart more than His rules. They understood that friendship with God meant having a voice, too.

 When God offered Moses a huge promotion in combinations with an outpouring of wrath in the wilderness - Moses basically said, “God, if You do this, people are going to talk bad about You.” And somehow, God said, “Wow, Moses, you get Me. You’re not just following orders—you actually know Me.” It was a turning point in their friendship. Moses didn’t just know God’s voice; he knew His heart.

 Here’s where things get real: Over the past couple of years, my faith has shifted into a whole new gear. I thought I had it all figured out. My spiritual life was neat—devotions, Sunday church, youth group, meditation walks. I was doing all the drills. And then… God invited me out onto the field, and everything got messy.

I missed church, missed quiet times, stopped meditating. I thought I was just out here chasing my own desires, but deep down I knew God was leading me. Some days, I was filled with gratitude for the blessings. Other days, I was drowning in guilt, second-guessing everything.

Here’s what I’ve learned: I had it all wrong. I thought God’s top value was my purpose, my obedience. I even thought surrender was His highest priority. But guess what? It’s not. It’s way messier than that. God’s top value is friendship. His top value is relationship - with YOU.

So, here’s the question: 

Are you going to get offended when someone doesn’t follow the drills? 

Will you let that offense keep you from saying “yes” to the invitation to train ugly? 

Are you willing to be misunderstood? 

Are you okay with your integrity, honor, and character being questioned?

Are you willing to pay the cost of a messy relationship with God if it means He’ll call you His friend? 

 Imagine every time you walk into His presence, He smiles and says, “It’s so good to see you.” You have inside jokes with Him. He whispers secrets and shows you miracles—not for the purpose of testimony, but just for the two of you to share.

Are you ready to give up the polished drills and train ugly? 

 It won't look perfect, but it will be real.